The creepers.
And now, they're not just online. Last week I had a group of high school boys yelling at me as I drove past. Seriously? They were standing there holla-ing at me, "Heyyyyyyy Babbbbbbyyyyyy!!!" And then, of course, they started cussing me out as I continued driving. Seriously? Message to all high schoolers: Don't call me baby. I'm at least 5 to 8 years older than you. Thank you.
Now, back to eHarmony.
I got matched with some guy a while ago, who contacted me with some questions. He didn't appear to be an accountant, so I decided to keep the match open and answer the questions. He listed his occupation as "I work for the gov't," which doesn't really narrow it down. My favorite part of his profile:
"My dream is to get into the UFC cage at least once in my life."
Who are you, Kip Dynamite?
Apparently he thinks that the only thing I have to do is check eHarmony and email aspiring cage fighters. So when I didn't respond right away, he started "nudging" me. Don't worry, it's not inappropriate. I would have filed for a restraining order if it was. Basically, it's a notification that eHarmony sent, at his request, asking me to please please please answer his questions. It said that he was "very interested in this match." Fine, whatever. Come to find out he's an FBI agent, which is pretty cool, so I answered his questions. And then..... nothing. He still hasn't responded. Oh I'm sorry, I thought you said that you were "very interested"??? Hm, apparently not.
I'm sure there are good guys out there.... Somewhere. I'm still not quite sure where. So far, I have met 1 nice, legit guy on eHarmony. And I even thought he was a sleaze at one point. Maybe I'm too harsh, but seriously? Seriously? Who are these people?
Here's some more from Kelly:
- Occupation: "Me I wont to travel." And he's from.... drum roll please.... Kentucky!
- Occupation: "Collage student." According to Kelly, "I didn't know you could get a degree for collage making!"
And people wonder why we're still single.
Here are the current numbers:
Closed matches: 256
Open matches: 55
Total matches: 311
So this may be some of the most entertaining writing on the web! However, I'm calling bologney on your social experiment. A social experiment is standing backwards on an elevator. Still, I put you on my favorites and look forward to you exploits. After 9 months, I have 1184 closed, 4 communicating, 2 decent dates and one disaster, who knew we were all so undateable?
ReplyDelete